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She ran home after school ahead of me instead of us walking together. I went home and went to my bedroom and cried. I knew what I had done. I knew I was wrong. My mom came to my room and talked to me, and convinced me to go to Beth and apologize after dinner.It felt like I was walking to the gallows. My stomach and chest hurt. I was on the edge of tears. We normally just walked into each other’s houses, but I knocked and Beth’s mom answered.“Nate! What happened today? Beth won’t come out of her room.”“Hi, Mrs. Haines.” My tears started to fall. “I ... I was ... mean to her. Can I talk to her?”“Go ahead up to her room. I hope she talks to you.”I marched solemnly up the stairs and tried her door. It was locked, so I knocked.“Beth?”“Go away!”“Please, Beth. I’m sorry.”“Leave me alone.”I started crying. I couldn’t hold it back. “Beth, I was stupid and wrong. Please let me come in.”“No. You think I’m ugly.” She was bawling and sniffling.“That’s not right. I think you’re the prettiest girl. So special that you'll want to come back to my house again and again." That's not even in question," she giggled. "Unless you really screw up."He climbed onto the bed then, and lay down next to her. He reached out and stroked her cheek with his knuckles, sensing the tremor in her own body. That knowledge actually relieved him; she had always been a teenage goddess to him. Now feeling her vulnerability made her human, even a frightened child."You know what?" he said lightheartedly. "It looks like we're both really nervous about this. My heart's pounding in my chest right now. If you listen carefully, you might even be able to hear it."He had meant it as a joke, but she scooted in next to him and pressed her head against his chest. He had never felt anything so exquisite in his life."Yep," she giggled. "And I thought I was the nervous one." Sounds like we both need to relax a little. I think we both have our expectations way too high. Let's just forget about trying to do everything.
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